Valentines Day. A day to find out you're loved; or remember you're not loved; or realise you've got a crap boyfriend who doesn't give a rat's arse about you; or notice that there are lots of people with stranger relationships than yours (if that's possible!); or thank the dear lord that you're single and you don't have to think of something fun, but not slushy and cute but not clingy to do with your other half in a non-threatening/non-commital type way because you don't want the pressure of Valentine's day to finally push him over the edge and make him realise that he would rather spend all his time with his mates after all and although he likes your cooking the sex could be better and that's what wanking was invented for anyway and if he wanted to be mothered he'd have stayed at home with his parents where at least his shhirts were ironed properly! Valentine's Day. Lovely.
Do you know where the name 'Arsenal' comes form? Read you history! Back in Roman times homosexuality was considered a form of high love, and was referred to as 'arsinaeus' - meaning 'butt love'. The region of London that Roman homos congregated in was called 'Arsenulius'. However, by the time the Romans fucked off out of our country, homo love was frowned upon. Therefore in Saxon Britain, gay people tended to live in a secluded area of early London, by that time called 'arshnalsh'. By the time the area was more commonly known as Arsenal, the local football team, called 'Badington's Brewery' were very wary of homosexuals and by 1879 had banned gay players from the team. Not to be outdone by these homophobic bigots, the gay brewery players formed their own team. Knowing their Roman history they proudly called themselves the 'Arsenal Rarsiums' - properly translated means 'gay lovers on the pitch'. It was a secret code, but players could only join the club if they were gay. This rule was adhered to until 1936, when the first 'straight' player joined the club - then named just plain Arsenal. However, in recent years there has been a rival in the team of the old ways and more and more players have declared their gayness. (Have you ever wondered what Arsene Wenger's name means? Arsene means butt bandit, and Wenger means 'angry bugger' – angry butt buggering bandit. That's why he was chosen as manager) You get the rest.
5 comments:
Hi Nat,
I don't mind who wins the footy
I am very pleased (honoured, if you will) to be the very first commentee on World of Nat!! But what a comment?! A masterpiece of mundane tragedy...
Brett
Valentines Day. A day to find out you're loved; or remember you're not loved; or realise you've got a crap boyfriend who doesn't give a rat's arse about you; or notice that there are lots of people with stranger relationships than yours (if that's possible!); or thank the dear lord that you're single and you don't have to think of something fun, but not slushy and cute but not clingy to do with your other half in a non-threatening/non-commital type way because you don't want the pressure of Valentine's day to finally push him over the edge and make him realise that he would rather spend all his time with his mates after all and although he likes your cooking the sex could be better and that's what wanking was invented for anyway and if he wanted to be mothered he'd have stayed at home with his parents where at least his shhirts were ironed properly!
Valentine's Day. Lovely.
Mick and Anonymous you are genius. That made me laugh so much..!!
Do you know where the name 'Arsenal' comes form? Read you history! Back in Roman times homosexuality was considered a form of high love, and was referred to as 'arsinaeus' - meaning 'butt love'. The region of London that Roman homos congregated in was called 'Arsenulius'. However, by the time the Romans fucked off out of our country, homo love was frowned upon. Therefore in Saxon Britain, gay people tended to live in a secluded area of early London, by that time called 'arshnalsh'. By the time the area was more commonly known as Arsenal, the local football team, called 'Badington's Brewery' were very wary of homosexuals and by 1879 had banned gay players from the team. Not to be outdone by these homophobic bigots, the gay brewery players formed their own team. Knowing their Roman history they proudly called themselves the 'Arsenal Rarsiums' - properly translated means 'gay lovers on the pitch'. It was a secret code, but players could only join the club if they were gay. This rule was adhered to until 1936, when the first 'straight' player joined the club - then named just plain Arsenal. However, in recent years there has been a rival in the team of the old ways and more and more players have declared their gayness. (Have you ever wondered what Arsene Wenger's name means? Arsene means butt bandit, and Wenger means 'angry bugger' – angry butt buggering bandit. That's why he was chosen as manager) You get the rest.
Post a Comment